My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am naked and annoyed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
