i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize