so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
