I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
