dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
