hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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