But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
its liver damage thursday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
