I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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