420 ftw
I wish i was in the wii world.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
