Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
