I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
