Just cropdusted the office
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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