We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
