happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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