Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
