you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
