Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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