i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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