I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
