glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
