We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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