You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
