I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
