My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Couch. On fire.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize