I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
