The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
as a side note pls kill me
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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