We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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