I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
