Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
