the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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