he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its liver damage thursday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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