I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize