When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
