you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
