I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
