So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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