Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
