so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
