She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize