We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
