theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize