Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
