is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
