i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
