I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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