Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
