R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I bet he comes in French.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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