her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
