all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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