it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
