you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
