A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize