Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
