Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
