She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
