Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
