Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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