if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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