did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
