but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize