yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Floor bacon is actually really good
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
