well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My vagina just recognized that song.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize