I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
