Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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