so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
