Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
