Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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