I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
