He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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