Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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